I just realized that I didn't write for Friday's class... oops
Okay anyway, Tuesday's class was one of the best classes that I have been to in a long time. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for being so supportive in my situation and for giving me some good feedback. One thing I realized after the class was that I am so thankful to be apart of a Christian college. There are not many schools that would pray for someone's needs, even if they didn't know them, like we did at the end of class Tuesday. Honestly, it touched me so much to have the love and support from my classmates and I don't know if I will ever be able to truly show you how much your support means to me.
When we started talking about working on communication with people, I realized that it is a lot harder than it sounds. Communication is not an easy thing to do, but we need to learn how to effectively communicate in order to live a successful life with successful relationships. When we discussed respecting what others say about feelings and thoughts, I was very intrigued. Often times when people try to help others, the conversation always becomes one sided and the focus is shifted on the person trying to help and their views. I especially agreed with not speaking for others. You cannot tell someone what they think or how they feel, or how they should think or feel. It is all up to the person who is having the problems to say how they feel. When I have had people try to help me with certain problems, they have tried to tell me how to feel about it. And that just bothers me because that is not what respecting other's feelings and thoughts is all about. Respect is a fully loaded word that is not used in the right context all of the time. Many of my friends are bad at not repsecting what I say because they do not agree with me. Well, then don't be my friend if you can't respect what I say. That's how I feel about it.
Another thing that we discussed that was interesting was the fact that we should take responsibility for our actions and responses. When everyone in the class said that you can't help how someone makes you feel, I agreed with them. The only reason I really agree with them is because it is hard to control how others make you feel. But, on the other hand I disagree because when I was in high school all of the guys liked to pick on me. They weren't mean to me, they just said things that they would know would upset me. It was more of the reaction that I gave them that would cause them to pick on me. Therefore, I could control how I reacted because if I would have just let their comments slide off my shoulders then the guys wouldn't have picked on me as much, I don't think. Honestly, in my opinion, it is all about how you react to something that determines if the instances reoccur or not!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Tuesday's class was insightful. The movie we watched showed a lot of different types of things that I always noticed but never really knew if there were specific reasons for them. Such as, the time issue. I have always noticed that everyone operates on different clocks, but I just thought that was how people were. Never had I linked it to be a cultural thing... but it is. I guess my culture operated on the same clock as the girl who said that if an invitation said to be at the party at 6 you really are supposed to show up at like 7:30 or 8. I always thought this was the case because people wanted to be "fashionably late." I guess I was wrong because I learned that it is a culture thing. Weird.
The rest of the movie was interesting, but like Ashley said I wish that they would have focused more on the subjects. They just kind of zipped through them and really didn't elaborate on their thoughts. One part that I disagreed with was when they were talking to the professor and the students said they would believe what he said because he was the teacher. FIrst of all, we should all have our own minds and just because someone has a P.H.D. doesn't mean they know everything. There are some things that even doctors don't know and it isn't smart to follow what the professor says just because he is the professor. I wish that people would have their own minds and think for themselves. But I understand to a point what they were saying, but there is just part of me that says that they were wrong. Oh well, I will do whatever I think is best for me.
This is a short entry but I think that I have covered everything I wanted to. It's Valentine's Day and I am so excited! : )
The rest of the movie was interesting, but like Ashley said I wish that they would have focused more on the subjects. They just kind of zipped through them and really didn't elaborate on their thoughts. One part that I disagreed with was when they were talking to the professor and the students said they would believe what he said because he was the teacher. FIrst of all, we should all have our own minds and just because someone has a P.H.D. doesn't mean they know everything. There are some things that even doctors don't know and it isn't smart to follow what the professor says just because he is the professor. I wish that people would have their own minds and think for themselves. But I understand to a point what they were saying, but there is just part of me that says that they were wrong. Oh well, I will do whatever I think is best for me.
This is a short entry but I think that I have covered everything I wanted to. It's Valentine's Day and I am so excited! : )
Sunday, February 10, 2008
You cannot change someone... no matter how hard you try
It's Sunday afternoon and I always end up remembering I have to write on this blog for some reason at about this same time. I missed class on Friday, which is disappointing but I guess that what comes with doing too many things at one time.
The class on Tuesday was one of the more interesting classes that I think we've had. Relationships with boys and girls can be difficult to handle sometimes, especially when one of the persons in the relationship treats the other one in a bad manner. With the case study about Amy, Dan, and Haley was very interesting and it is so true for many of the relationships that I see around me daily. Dan is critical of Haley and Amy doesn't know what to do to tell Haley that she is being treated unfairly. There is a girl I know that was dating a guy who treated her not so nicely. I never saw him hit her, or yell at her, but the things he didn't do did just as much as damage as what he "could" have done.
For instance, they had been dating for almost a year and I swear that he only came over to her apartment when he wanted "fool" around or do whatever it is they were doing in her room (I didn't care too much to listen in on what was happening). For months my friend and I tried to talk to her about how her boyfriend treated her, but we always ended up on a dead end road leading to no where with her. She was blind; she thought her relationship was perfect and that there was nothing wrong. HOnestly, when a guy decides he would rather play video games than spend time with you after not seeing you for a few days in a row, there is somethign wrong. Or when he doesn't want to talk to you when he is around his friends, there is something wrong. He wasn't critical of her but he always had a way of making her feel like he was always right, and she always believed him. Trust me, my friend and I tried to tell her to open her eyes and realize he didn't treat her the way he should but she didn't listen. You know what happened? He ended up breaking up with her and now she is devastated. Lost and confused, she just mopes around and seems depressed. Come on, honestly, he didn't treat her that well to begin with so why would she miss him? Because, when you're in a relationship that isn't "right" in the eyes of others around you it is hard to understand and comprehend that there is something wrong.
In our class discussion we talked about ways we could talk to Haley about how Dan was treating her. But, it doesn't matter what you say or do to the friend that needs help, it is going to take them opening their own eyes. As outsiders, we cannot change anyone or make anyone "wake up" and realize that there is something wrong with their personal relationship. No matter how hard we try, there is juts nothing we can say that is going to make them realize how badly they are being treated. Even people who are abused don't realize they are in a horrible situation until they are out of it for a while. Believe me, I tried to help my friend but until she is completly away from the situtaion, she will not see that she was treated unfairly and she will continue to long for him to come back to her.
The class on Tuesday was one of the more interesting classes that I think we've had. Relationships with boys and girls can be difficult to handle sometimes, especially when one of the persons in the relationship treats the other one in a bad manner. With the case study about Amy, Dan, and Haley was very interesting and it is so true for many of the relationships that I see around me daily. Dan is critical of Haley and Amy doesn't know what to do to tell Haley that she is being treated unfairly. There is a girl I know that was dating a guy who treated her not so nicely. I never saw him hit her, or yell at her, but the things he didn't do did just as much as damage as what he "could" have done.
For instance, they had been dating for almost a year and I swear that he only came over to her apartment when he wanted "fool" around or do whatever it is they were doing in her room (I didn't care too much to listen in on what was happening). For months my friend and I tried to talk to her about how her boyfriend treated her, but we always ended up on a dead end road leading to no where with her. She was blind; she thought her relationship was perfect and that there was nothing wrong. HOnestly, when a guy decides he would rather play video games than spend time with you after not seeing you for a few days in a row, there is somethign wrong. Or when he doesn't want to talk to you when he is around his friends, there is something wrong. He wasn't critical of her but he always had a way of making her feel like he was always right, and she always believed him. Trust me, my friend and I tried to tell her to open her eyes and realize he didn't treat her the way he should but she didn't listen. You know what happened? He ended up breaking up with her and now she is devastated. Lost and confused, she just mopes around and seems depressed. Come on, honestly, he didn't treat her that well to begin with so why would she miss him? Because, when you're in a relationship that isn't "right" in the eyes of others around you it is hard to understand and comprehend that there is something wrong.
In our class discussion we talked about ways we could talk to Haley about how Dan was treating her. But, it doesn't matter what you say or do to the friend that needs help, it is going to take them opening their own eyes. As outsiders, we cannot change anyone or make anyone "wake up" and realize that there is something wrong with their personal relationship. No matter how hard we try, there is juts nothing we can say that is going to make them realize how badly they are being treated. Even people who are abused don't realize they are in a horrible situation until they are out of it for a while. Believe me, I tried to help my friend but until she is completly away from the situtaion, she will not see that she was treated unfairly and she will continue to long for him to come back to her.
Monday, February 4, 2008
We Are "Supposed to Be"...
I totally forgot to write about the class from last Tuesday, which is very strange because I found that class to be one of the most interesting classes since we started. One thing that struck me as very interesting is that there are expectations for every race, gender, and social class.
Okay, I must admit I knew this already... but it was kind of one of those things you "knew" but you didn't have any concrete evidence that people really felt that. Take race and culture for example. In the "bible belt", as so many people love to call the South, it is not exactly "accepted" to marry a person of another race. Now, I don't know where in the bible it says that this is wrong, I just know that from the time I was old enough to understand the concept of race, it was made clear that different races didn't marry. I was talking to my roommate the other night, who is dating a guy of another race, and I asked her if her parents accepted their relationship. Even if we were still high school and the thought of marriage wasn't so prevelant, the fact that my parents accepted the guy I was dating a huge thing for me. She said that her parents loved her boyfriend and that race, where she is from, is not a big deal like it is here. And to be honest, I don't think the fact that some people in the south would rather not have their child be in an interracial relationship has nothing to do with descrimination and racism. Honestly, in my opinion it is about the fact that people in the south have most likely been raised in the south. Therefore, their culture has made it clear that interracial marriages and relationships are unacceptable... not morally, but just socially.
My aunt was talking to me about interracial relationships the other day as well. She said that the reason she doesn't agree with the mixing of the races in relationships, romantic relationships, is because as a teacher she is exposed to the negativity the mixed children can get from other students. I wasn't quite sure I understood what she meant so she explained and then I completly understood. In the south, because that is the only place I have witnessed interracial dating, sometimes when there is a mixed girl she is confused on which race she wants to date. Often times, one racial group or even both will shun the mixed child because they are not truly the full race they are. And it is really sad that there are some people who are really that shallow and only look at race, but there are some people who do. When it comes to raising a child in a society such as the south, being a mixed child can be difficult. I have never seen anything different about the children I went to school with that were mixed. I always thought this one girl named Dina was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. She was mixed with caucasion and African-American. I loved her skin tone, her hair, and especially her eyes. Everything looked it was the color of cocoa and I loved it! So for me, the interracial thing is not a problem in my eyes, but I find it strange that there are some people within different cultures who view the mixing of races as wrong.
One more thought before I stop. It bothers me that there are Christians in this world who truly believe that being married to a person of another race is morally wrong. I haven't heard or read anything in the Bible that says it is wrong to date a person of another color. Those "Christians" are giving other Christians bad names because it makes the rest of the religion seem as if they are racists. I don't doubt that the Christians who believe that it is wrong to interracially date aren't Christians, I just believe that they should do some more reading in the Bible and find out the real truth. I think I'm going to go... other homework to do! I hope this next class is just as interesting as last Tuesday!
Okay, I must admit I knew this already... but it was kind of one of those things you "knew" but you didn't have any concrete evidence that people really felt that. Take race and culture for example. In the "bible belt", as so many people love to call the South, it is not exactly "accepted" to marry a person of another race. Now, I don't know where in the bible it says that this is wrong, I just know that from the time I was old enough to understand the concept of race, it was made clear that different races didn't marry. I was talking to my roommate the other night, who is dating a guy of another race, and I asked her if her parents accepted their relationship. Even if we were still high school and the thought of marriage wasn't so prevelant, the fact that my parents accepted the guy I was dating a huge thing for me. She said that her parents loved her boyfriend and that race, where she is from, is not a big deal like it is here. And to be honest, I don't think the fact that some people in the south would rather not have their child be in an interracial relationship has nothing to do with descrimination and racism. Honestly, in my opinion it is about the fact that people in the south have most likely been raised in the south. Therefore, their culture has made it clear that interracial marriages and relationships are unacceptable... not morally, but just socially.
My aunt was talking to me about interracial relationships the other day as well. She said that the reason she doesn't agree with the mixing of the races in relationships, romantic relationships, is because as a teacher she is exposed to the negativity the mixed children can get from other students. I wasn't quite sure I understood what she meant so she explained and then I completly understood. In the south, because that is the only place I have witnessed interracial dating, sometimes when there is a mixed girl she is confused on which race she wants to date. Often times, one racial group or even both will shun the mixed child because they are not truly the full race they are. And it is really sad that there are some people who are really that shallow and only look at race, but there are some people who do. When it comes to raising a child in a society such as the south, being a mixed child can be difficult. I have never seen anything different about the children I went to school with that were mixed. I always thought this one girl named Dina was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. She was mixed with caucasion and African-American. I loved her skin tone, her hair, and especially her eyes. Everything looked it was the color of cocoa and I loved it! So for me, the interracial thing is not a problem in my eyes, but I find it strange that there are some people within different cultures who view the mixing of races as wrong.
One more thought before I stop. It bothers me that there are Christians in this world who truly believe that being married to a person of another race is morally wrong. I haven't heard or read anything in the Bible that says it is wrong to date a person of another color. Those "Christians" are giving other Christians bad names because it makes the rest of the religion seem as if they are racists. I don't doubt that the Christians who believe that it is wrong to interracially date aren't Christians, I just believe that they should do some more reading in the Bible and find out the real truth. I think I'm going to go... other homework to do! I hope this next class is just as interesting as last Tuesday!
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