A profound message

This morning I experience quite possibly the best communion service in all of my nineteen years. It wasn't just a service where you stood up and took a piece of bread and drank from a miniature cup filled with grape juice. It was more than that; way more than that.

Perry, the pastor at New Spring, conveyed a powerful message this morning. As I sat in my seat, cross legged and attentive, I listened intently to every word that Perry had to say. Luke 22:42 was the focus for his message and it was the perfect passage that I needed to hear. The verse described how Jesus communicated with God after He retreated from His last supper. "41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and knelt down, and prayed,
42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." (Luke 22:41-42) Verse 42 describes the simple prayer that Jesus prayed to His father right before He was betrayed by Judas. Perry said that Jesus prayed "Father," without any added adjectives such as 'righteous', 'holy', 'Lord of all Lords' because Jesus knew God was right there with him. He didn't need to use any words that were unneeded... they would simply take away from the powerful prayer that was already being prayed. Jesus communicated with God in a different way than most would imagine He would. Being that God is Jesus' father, I would assumed Jesus would talk to him like we talk our fathers. "Dad, I need your help. You are such an intelligent being and I know that you know the best thing for me right now." But instead, Jesus simply said "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me:" Perry also pointed out that Jesus said "if thou be willing" not "if you can" because God is capable of doing anything He wants to. Jesus knew this and therefore prayed "if thou be willing" because He knew if God wanted it to be, it would happen. That's the problem I have when I communicate with God. I usually end up saying "Please do this for me God!" and instead I should be praying "If it is Your will". Where did I go wrong when I was learning this vital piece of information about talking to God?

I especially like the last part of verse 42 that says, "nevertheless, your will not mine, be done." This part of the prayer touched my heart immediately. Instantly, I could feel my heart beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. I couldn't contain the way that part of the verse touched me and suddenly my eyes started to swell with tears. There is something about how humans think God should do things that is so wrong. We always believe that God should do what we pray about, but in actually it shouldn't be what we want. Jesus understood that this was to be the case and He prayed to God so that God would know He understood that it wasn't what He wanted to be done, but what His Father wanted that was going to happen. I couldn't believe that for so long, as a believer, I had let myself believe that it was all about what I wanted and not what God wanted for me. It isn't that I'm stupid and don't understand God is the ultimate ruler, but there is something about when we pray we always think God should do what it is we are praying for. That is wrong; dead wrong.

The communion service was one of those services where you get in the car and you look back at what the preacher had to say and you say to yourself "wow". That is all I could think of when I left that church today... wow. For me, communion services were about repentance and forgiveness. A fresh start to a new life was what I always thought it was. And toady it was about that, but it was also about being uncomfortable. We have to learn to communicate with ourselves before we communicate with anyone else, even God. If we are lying to ourselves about our expectations and desires then we are only fooling ourselves, no one else. God knows when our heart is truly trying to do something that it says it will, or when we are praying a prayer so we don't feel "uncomfortable" around those around us. I couldn't let myself be sucked into Satan's grip and think that I wasn't being truthful with the prayer that I prayed. I was and I am willing to communicate with not only God but with my self as well. It was a powerful message that I will never ever forget.