COMMUNICATION... i can spell it out if I need to

It has been an entire month exactly since I last wrote a blog post. Forgive me? I was doing so well in the rest of the semester, but as the end crept nearer and nearer I felt myself slipping further and further behind. My research paper for English was a killer task that I didn't know I would struggle so much with. But, I have finished it and now I am leaving it in God's hands and trust that I get the grade that I feel I deserve.

That doesn't go for every class that I have taken this semester. Of course I have trusted God to give me the strength and knowledge to complete my classes with as much ability as I have, but that does not cover teacher's mistakes. Everyone is human, but what makes a person act "inhumane" is when they act as if they do not care about other people's lives. Communication has been the focus for this class the entire year, and of course it should be because it is so titled "Interpersonal Communication" so that would be only fitting. But I think what makes me upset about the fact that one of my teachers seemed to lack the communication gene is that I tried to communicate. I tried to openly tell my teacher that I was struggling and they did not seem to care very much. Sylabi are great and I think they serve a great purpose, but you cannot abuse the sylabus and make it be whatever you want it to be. First of all, not posting it on MyCampus is a little bit rediculous since we, as students, are told to rely on MyCampus for class information. Secondly, I do not feel that you can interupret the information given on the sylabi the way YOU want it to be conveyed. Write out what you mean, don't put it in mixed messages because students do not know you that well. I can't read minds, if I could I probably wouldn't be at college right now. And thirdly, I do not believe that it is a teacher's right to find information online and only use that information instead of giving their students the right to look at the information themselves instead of relying on getting all of the information given in a class period written down BY HAND. In this particular professor's class you were not allowed to bring a computer to class unless directed by Carol Sinnamon saying that you had a preexisting condition that allowed you the use of the electronic devise to take notes. For some instances I find accomodations to be vidal for thier success, but I do not think that a teacher who does provide a copy of their notes for students to see should be a situation where computers are outlawed.

COmmunication was completly lost in the class and therefore I am upset with the grade I received. Tell me if I am wrong for believing these things, but in my heart of hearts I feel that I deserved a better grade than what I received. My grade point average should not suffer because one teacher lacked the key element that is required to run a smooth classroom operation: communication!

I think I am delusional, forgive me!

For the past two class periods we have been viewing people's movie projects. The choices in movies have been really interesting! Some of the movies that people chose to point out interpersonal communication skills surprised me because I just never thought of those particular movies as being a great/bad example of interpersonal communication!

I guess that's what it is so funny about these movie projects. What struck me as funny was the fact that the movies that I have seen a million times have suddenly taken on a new meaning in my mind. For instance, the movie "Hitch" that Elizabeth reported on is a great example of how I have watched it a million times on t.v. and yet I have never noticed the things that Elizabeth pointed out. This class seemed kind of silly to me when I first started taking it because I thought that all of the things that we initially started talking about were common sense. All of our lives we have been taught to express our feelings and to communicate with one another in order to create a healthy relationship. But as the class has progressed I have learned many different things that I wouldn't have learned on my own without the class. It was really neat to see the different movies and how people found interpersonal communication skills in the different movie selections.

Seriously, I am not going to lie... I am super glad that I did not have to give my report on either of the past two class periods. I have had my movie project done since Easter break but for some reason I just have not wanted to get up in front of the class and present anything. Two Fridays ago I had to give a report on my short talk and that was enough for me. I am not a shy person but there is something about getting up in front of peers and talking about something that is going to give me a grade is really scary. Some people, like Whitney, are really good at public speaking but I just don't think I am. Maybe my speech class will help me overcome my public speaking fears.


I am super tired and I just want to go to sleep. Presenting on Tuesday is going to be fun... fun times. Night!

The Internet.. is it really about reputation?

Honestly, is the internet all about protecting someone's reputation or is about getting attention? I have been the victim of being repremanded by a higher authority because of something I said on Facebook. Come on, seriously. Is it really that big of a deal what someone says or posts on an internet website? Of course it is serious if a person is talking about committing suicide or something to that nature, but it is not a big deal in my eyes if I say the F word on an online blog. I know that some people would argue that you if you want something to stay private, then you shouldnt' post it on it online. But, there are some people who find the internet to be THEIR personal space. For instance, when our parents or even grandparents were growing up, it was standard for a person to have a diary. In today's society, the diary has been replaced with online blogging sites! Therefore, for the generation now it is acceptable for a person to use online blogging sites as a resource to tell about personal events. I just don't see how someone has the right to go on someone's blog and repremand them for something they said ONLINE! The word that I used was the wrong choice of word, and I know that, but I was having an extremly bad day and writing it all out on Facebook didn't seem like a big deal. Yea, there were people that I wanted to read it. In fact, I wrote the post for the purpose of certain people reading it. No, I didn't use the word that I used to attract anyone to my post, but at that point it did seem to convey exactly how I was feeling. I guess the reason that it upsets me so much that I slapped on the wrist for writing the F word on an online blogging site is because it was MINE. It was my site to write whatever I wanted to and someone had to to go out and look for what I wrote. It wasn't like I posted on my status thing that I just wrote a post and I wanted everyone to read it. But someone took the liberty to read it and send it to the higher authority that repremanded me.

Online blogging sites aer someone that some people consider private. Granted, they aren't private, but for some people who know about nothing but online blogging sites to help express their feelings, it is unconceivable that someone would get in trouble for what they write on a blog. If I wrote someone about killing someone, or even myself, or anything to that nature it would bea little more understandable. I dont know, I just can't keep going on about this because I 'll just keep repeating myself. My point is, I am an adult. I live away from parents and I am of legal age to do most things. Therefore, in order for me to be considered and treated as adult, as the real world does, I expect to get the same treatment when I am at a college or anywhere else for that matter. Yes, I am on a Christian campus and yes, I agree with many of the rules we have to live by. But, I do not agree with the school monitoring what I do or say on my Facebook or what I do in my life off of campus. It isn't like I am a stripper or a hooker or a drug dealer, I just said one word that I shouldn't have and now I have to live with the fact there was a teacher on this campus who read my post and sent it to a higher person. Now, 2 people on this campus know that I said a "dirty" word, and they didn't even hear it come directly from MY mouth. I typed it on a post on Facebook.... technically, it could have been ANYONE! Oh well, it is in the past and I just think that some people should realize that online sites are not always meant for everyone to see, yet I know that is how some people view the subject.





P.S. I am reporting on the movie "Mean Girls" for my movie project! Thanks!

Oh the things you learn!

Friday's class was rather intriguing, to say the least. I mean, I have heard so many of the things we talked about before but I guess I just never really took a closer look into the different styles of listening. What it really made me think about was how I listen to God. Do I pretend to listen and nod my head in affirmation without actually taking into account what God is telling me? Or do I listen defensively and defend all of my wrongful doings that God points out to me. I guess that is just something that most people don't want to think about. There comes a time in a person's life when it is time to reevaluate whether or not you are a good listener. And I guess you could say that the time came for me after Friday's class.
I guess I really realized that I don't listen to God like I should. Part of that is due to the simple fact that I am ashamed of things that I do and that God convicts me of. No one ever wants to admit when they are doing wrong, nor do they want someone to point out to them that they are doing wrong. God is an amazing God and I just wish that I would be more open to hearing what He has to say to me instead of being so closed-minded.
Anyway, I found Friday's class more enjoyable than most classes for some reason. Usually, I feel alone in that class. There are always people that are buddied up and I always feel left out. But, on Friday I didn't feel so secluded. Tina was really nice and she talked to me, but I guess that could be due to the fact that her normal desk partner wasn't there. Ha-ha No I think she was just genuinely being nice. Our communication was great and we ended up giving a stellar performance... just kidding!


Quick side note before I close:
I went to the Sterling House Elderly Home today with S.W.A.T and it was amazingly fun! At first I was nervous but then I realized that there was nothing to be afraid of. The people that were there were happy to have people to talk to and it made me feel good when one of the ladies asked if she was going to hear from me again. Now, I know that she most likely won't remember that tomorrow because she could barely remember what we were talking about during our conversation. But, non-the-less, it made me feel good. Visiting with elderly people really opened my eyes to a whole new type of communication. The older people didn't want to hear me talk, they wanted to talk about their past and their lives when they were growing up. It astounded me how some of the older women would just flat cut me off so they could talk about their lives. And granted, it didn't upset me, it just seemed a little weird. I guess what I learned most of all by being there was that every age group has a different style of communication.
For younger children, you have to talk to them and command their attention. You have to also talk to them in a sweet tone and almost like you're talking to a person who can't understand what you're saying.
For adults, you have to talk as if they have known you forever and you must verbally communicate what you want and how you want it.
For elderly people, the communication reverts back to childish communication. It also becomes for a listening game instead of interaction. All they want to do is talk and they want you to listen.

Interesting for me to learn, and I am glad that I learned what I did.

So I am done for the day. Happy St. Patty's Day!

Too Close for Comfort

How weird was that little experiment we did in class? I mean I am friends with Whitney and we have talked many many times before, but that little experiment probably was awkward for both of us. After inching closer and closer we finally stopped, and when I looked where we were standing it was quiet funny. We were still a good 12 inches apart, and I just think it would have been weird to be any closer.

So I was thinking about the class the other day and I wanted to write about it, but I forgot. Smart move, huh? Anyway, I think I was thinking about how we discussed the different cultures and what was acceptable compared to American culture. Honestly, the Hispanics that worked at the restaurant that I worked at this summer were completely out of line with the their actions. When I later learned that their forwardness was a sign of flattery, I still didn't think their actions were acceptable. For people who come from different cultures and countries and live in the United States, to me it only seems fair that they comply with our customs and rules. Because if I went to Mexico and I didn't think it was "flattery" when a guy yelled at me as I walked by, they would think that I was being rude. But that is just my culture and that is how I was raised. I would have to comply with their customs and at least acknowledge their comments so as to not seem "rude". I just feel that the foreigners who come to this country should learn how to live by OUR customs and not continue living "out of the realm" of society.

Sometimes, I think that this class is somewhat of a waste of time. Not because I don't enjoy it but because it often reiterates what I already know. But when I really sit back and think about our discussions, I realize how much more beneficial the class really is to my life. Therefore, once I take a good luck at our conversations I no longer find the class as a "waste of time" and that makes me feel more accomplished in my daily activities. Keep on rocking with the class discussions. It is nice, for once, to not have to be so confined to one thought and be able to express your own feelings and ideas about a particular subject! :)

Non-Verbal Communication...is there any other type?

As I sat in class on Tuesday I realized that everyone communicates non-verbally. And then I realized that people communicate MORE with non-verbal actions rather than with words. Why is that? I asked myself that question many times in class and I came up with one answer... we, as human beings, are simply more comfortable with not "saying" how we feel as opposed to "showing" how we feel.

The other day, my roommate and I got into a little bit of a disagreement. She said something hurt my feelings and instead of saying something to her, I just pouted for the rest of the night. Eventually, she asked if I was upset with her and like a stupid person I said no. In actuality I was very upset with her for what she said. Why is it that I was okay with showing her that I was upset, but I wasn't okay with telling her I was upset with her? I just don't understand why it is easier to communicate non-verbally. After all, I love talking and you would think that it would be easier to say, "hey I'm mad at you." But it is definitely not easier.

We didn't really discuss how we communicate non-verbally when we're upset... we instead talked about how we communicate non-verbally when we like someone. I think that the communication that is non-verbal between two people who have feelings for each other stems from childhood. When we were little kids we didn't go up to a boy or girl and say "Hey I like You!" Instead, the boys would chase or tease the girl they liked or the girl would hide from the boy they liked. It was in the way we showed the person of interest that we were infatuated with them. I don't know why, as humans with exceptional intelligence compared to animals, we cannot just tell someone how we feel. Guilty as charged, I will admit. But, that doesn't make it right. Professors and psychologists try to justify why people use non-verbal communication but why?

If everyone would just say how they felt instead of trying to show people through subtle actions, then maybe our world wouldn't be so easily deceived. I am weird, I guess, for thinking this way. I know there are some people who think that non-verbal communication actually shows more than verbal communication. But, I disagree completely.

It Is All In The Reaction

I just realized that I didn't write for Friday's class... oops

Okay anyway, Tuesday's class was one of the best classes that I have been to in a long time. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for being so supportive in my situation and for giving me some good feedback. One thing I realized after the class was that I am so thankful to be apart of a Christian college. There are not many schools that would pray for someone's needs, even if they didn't know them, like we did at the end of class Tuesday. Honestly, it touched me so much to have the love and support from my classmates and I don't know if I will ever be able to truly show you how much your support means to me.

When we started talking about working on communication with people, I realized that it is a lot harder than it sounds. Communication is not an easy thing to do, but we need to learn how to effectively communicate in order to live a successful life with successful relationships. When we discussed respecting what others say about feelings and thoughts, I was very intrigued. Often times when people try to help others, the conversation always becomes one sided and the focus is shifted on the person trying to help and their views. I especially agreed with not speaking for others. You cannot tell someone what they think or how they feel, or how they should think or feel. It is all up to the person who is having the problems to say how they feel. When I have had people try to help me with certain problems, they have tried to tell me how to feel about it. And that just bothers me because that is not what respecting other's feelings and thoughts is all about. Respect is a fully loaded word that is not used in the right context all of the time. Many of my friends are bad at not repsecting what I say because they do not agree with me. Well, then don't be my friend if you can't respect what I say. That's how I feel about it.

Another thing that we discussed that was interesting was the fact that we should take responsibility for our actions and responses. When everyone in the class said that you can't help how someone makes you feel, I agreed with them. The only reason I really agree with them is because it is hard to control how others make you feel. But, on the other hand I disagree because when I was in high school all of the guys liked to pick on me. They weren't mean to me, they just said things that they would know would upset me. It was more of the reaction that I gave them that would cause them to pick on me. Therefore, I could control how I reacted because if I would have just let their comments slide off my shoulders then the guys wouldn't have picked on me as much, I don't think. Honestly, in my opinion, it is all about how you react to something that determines if the instances reoccur or not!